Surprising Ways Anyone Can Play Pretend

Anyone can pretend play.

• Children without brothers or sisters. Children with brothers and sisters.

• Children with developmental or physical challenges.

• Children in cities, suburbs, rural areas.

Teenagers can play pretend. Even adults can pretend play!

Here are five surprising ways anyone can play pretend.

1. Children play pretend naturally. Especially from ages 2-10. Give them the time and some props or dress up clothes, and let them use their imagination!

We know pretend play is an important developmental phase to encourage. We also know that parents do not have to play pretend with their child all day long. It’s okay for children to play by themselves! If you are interested, you can read the history of this child rearing philosophy here.

Give a child a cape or fairy wings, and they can create hours of pretend play!

Playing dress up can help kids with empathy and emotional development, including kids with ADHD or autism.

2. Anyone can play pretend by copying art

It’s more like dress-up, than playing in an imaginary world. But it is a great creative outlet for all ages!

It’s called the @TussenKunstenQuarantaine. A woman in the Netherlands, bored during the COVID-19 quarantine, challenged her friends to recreate famous works of art using only three items lying around home. You can see creative pretend play from people of all ages around the world on her Instagram and Facebook pages. You should submit one, too!

Mona lisa. a teenager in 2020, and the original in 1503.

Clever! ha ha!

3. Teens and adults can do battle. Just for pretend, of course!

Do you have someone in your house with extra energy? Sports are always a good outlet. But pretend play battles are also fun, in an adult way.

• Light saber battles

• Medieval sword fighting classes

• Paintball clubs

4. Acting for fun is a great way anyone can play pretend!

you have to be fast and expressive to win playing heads up!

• Improv comedy classes

• Dramatic exaggerated reading of children books.

• Even home games like Pictionary, charades, and Heads-Up reward pretend play.

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5. Cosplay is costume play for anyone!

• Costumes for an event - these Pac Man ghosts are kids holding umbrellas with fabric over them!

• Costumes for a photo - these Japanese teen girls saved their money to buy a photo session in historic kimonos!

• Costumes for daily life - some people choose vintage every day!

We have no excuse not to engage in some fun and safe pretend play - even adults!

Is she making mud pies? or food for her pretend pets?

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Bring Out Your “Bop It”

Bop It is a toy you play by following the directions it tells you.

You hold the device in your hands, and then

• bop it!

• twist it!

• pull it!

• pass it!

We’ll let the commercial explain better…

Yes, it really is that much fun to follow directions!

The original plan for the game was to make a child do something to change the TV.

At least they’re not fighting

Like a cardio remote control!

• To change channels, the child would have to hammer the remote

• To adjust the volume, the child would have to twist a knob

• To turn the TV on, the child would have to pull a lever

Dan Klitsner, the inventor, called them Remote Out-of-Control. Clever!

But toy companies weren’t interested.

It was 1996, and Klitsner shifted his idea to a game where you followed directions. Bop It was born!

You can read more of this fascinating story in this Mental Floss article here.

you’ve probably played this, or one of it’s variations. It’s fun to follow directions!

Bop It has inspired a dance where you follow directions, and following directions Bop It competitions - even among the blind!

There are other dances that are basically exercises in following directions.

• Cupid Shuffle

• Zumba

• Square Dancing

It’s fun to follow directions. Until it’s not…

Watch this comedy sketch (it’s rated G). G for general audience, and G for gross!

Eeewwwww! But funny, right?!

Getting our kids to follow directions, when it’s real life and not a game, can be a challenge.

Especially if our kids are experiencing autism or ADHD. Here’s a moment of advice from our expert.

Perhaps you want some guidance. Or someone to listen.

Or maybe you’re ready for one of our online courses.

No judgement. No obligation. Just guidance from two experts, who have been there, too.

Hasbro Gaming Bop It! Game Buy on Amazon

Calming Activities for Children with ADHD

You have a child with ADHD. Or a teen with ADHD. Or a spouse with ADHD. Someone in your household who is impulsive, disorganized, restless, and has low frustration tolerance.

In list form, here are some calming activities for children with ADHD. Just remember…

• Not everything works every time to help calm a child with ADHD.

• Some things work one day, but not the next to calm your teen with ADHD.

• At times, we don’t even want to make an effort to calm our loved ones with ADHD. It’s easier just to scream and yell.

We know. We’ve been there.

Scary, right? But sometimes it feels so good just to scream….

Put these calming activities for children with ADHD in your “back pocket”. And know that you are not alone!

Five calming tips for children with ADHD at school.

1. Have a fidget object, like a quarter, that they can hold while they work.

2. Don’t take recess away! Recess is necessary for all, and not just a reward for well-behaved students.

3. Review the schedule, refocusing your child and reassuring them that a break is coming.

4. Listening to soft background music on headphones can improve focus and concentration.

5. 10 deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth.

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5 calming strategies for your child with ADHD doing homework.

1. 10 deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth.

2. Make a list, which is a great form of mental rehearsal.

3. Short ‘movement breaks’ can help a child refocus on completing the work.

4. Reward little successes. A hug and smile make a difference, even with teens.

5. Sometimes kids react better to outsiders, such as tutors, grandma, or the cool neighborhood teen. Enlist help - helpers do not mean you are a failure as a parent.

---

5 calming activities for teens with ADHD

1. A fidget ring! Support the creative people on Etsy and find one that suits you.

2. Send them to the shower or the bathtub. Epson salts or essential oils can help.

3. Redirect their activity. Jump rope, wash the car, organize the spice rack.

4. Get artistic. Paint, clay, wire, wood, ink. Let them be creative!

5. Take a dance break. Like Zoey in this video…

A dance break would even work for parents!

If you need more guidance, or just to talk about your own specific situation, we can help. Click for more resources. Or let us know you want a call or email.

No judgement. No obligation. Just guidance from experts who have been there, too.

How to Quarantine with Your Partner Without Destroying Your Relationship

Couples are now suddenly spending an awful lot of time together - ALL the time!

How do I avoid a breakup during quarantine?

Follow these 4 tips from relationship experts to survive self-quarantine

without hating the one you love.

Forever may stop sounding ideal after weeks of forced togetherness.

1. Compliment your partner, even over little things.

• Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.

• Catch them doing good, and say something nice.

• This may be your first opportunity to see them working, even if it is remotely. Tell them what you admire about how they do their job!

• Don’t pout if you are the only one doing the complimenting. Lead by example; after a few days, it’s okay to ask for a compliment (“Look! I cleaned out the medicine cabinet. Isn’t that better?”)

If i don’t look at her, maybe she wont make me talk to her

2. Be responsive to attempts at conversation.

• Everyone has lost most of their social interaction with self-quarantine.

• It’s not your job to be a constant source of company for your partner, no matter how much you love them.

• But be mindful of the little comments that seek connection, and don’t ignore them.

“Them - We’re out of eggs.

You - You’re the one who ate them all!”

— Bad Example

“Them - We’re out of eggs.

You - Oh, well.”

— So-So Example

“Them - We’re out of eggs.

You - Oh, you’re right, when do you think we should go shopping?”

— Better Example

Is it about the eggs, or is it about the attempt at socialization?

3. Schedule time for yourself.

• If your only time by yourself is when you take a shower or make an emergency grocery run, you might be running low on much-needed alone time.

• Schedule activities for yourself - have something to look forward to! Facetime with your cousin, jump rope to your favorite music, Houseparty with your buddies from the team.

we are not animals. we can talk things out.

4. Pick your battles.

• Don’t sweat the small stuff. And most of it is small.

• Just like always, don’t talk about big concerns in the midst of an argument. Wait until everyone is calm.

Even the strongest relationships are strained by constant togetherness

Divorce is expensive. And usually unpleasant.

By doing these four things, we are filling up our emotional bank account. We will have the resilience to get through this stressful time without wanting to clobber the one we love!

We can avoid a breakup during quarantine.

Here is a short video recap of this article. I like the music background!

Adapted from the longer article by Rachel Feltman in Popular Science Magazine, and The Week Magazine.

If you need to talk to someone, every community has free confidential counselors waiting by phone or by live chat.

Such as It’s Up to Us.

Call 888-724-7240.

Trained people are waiting to hear you.

Other free resources for when we are stressed:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255

• National Alliance of Mental Illness 800-930-9276

• Disaster Distress Helpline 800-985-5990

• National Crisis Text Line text HOME to 741741

If it’s your kids who are driving you crazy, we have this article for you.

School is Closed. What About my Child's Special Education Needs?

It’s happened before.

Fire Storm

Hurricane Flooding

Snow Storm

A disaster happens, and all schools are closed.

What about my child’s special education needs?

In a disaster such as a fire storm or flood, we are focused on survival and on helping others. Not on school. And when the disaster passes, as most disasters do, school resumes as usual for all children.

COVID-19 social distancing has changed how we live. For many weeks. (via GIPHY)

What about my child’s special education during COVID-19?

We have to remember that this is a disaster. This pandemic has put schools in an unprecedented and difficult position.

• How do we do speech therapy over Zoom?

• How can we work on social skills without actually being in a social setting?

• Who will do hand-over-hand assistance with my child?

• How can I do adaptive PE with my child in our small home?

All school districts are working to adapt to the individualized education program of their special education students during COVID-19. But it wont be ideal. And it will take time to implement.

Read about California’s efforts here, try to decipher the federal Department of Education Q&A here, and watch this video about one school district in Washington.

Read this news article showing the challenges and concerns parents have for special education during Covid-19, when their special needs children stay home from school. Do you see yourself?

If you are frustrated, or discouraged, or just want to talk with someone who knows, please contact us. One of us will get back to you via email or phone very soon.

Watch a Movie to Celebrate Autism Awareness Month

April is Autism Awareness Month. You should watch a movie!

Movies for Autism Awareness Month

Here are three movies that have characters with autism. Watch, and celebrate Autism Awareness Month.

But first…. A word of warning.

• Do lawyers like watching courtroom dramas? Or do they get annoyed at the inaccuracies?

• Do police officers like watching cop shows? Or do they spend the whole movie mocking the mistakes in procedure?

• As a former high school teacher, I can’t stand watching movies that take place in high schools. They get it all wrong! But this movie has enough good outside the classroom to get my recommendation.

Click on the picture to read my review.

• My husband is a volunteer rescue worker, and he talked back to the screen the entire movie, telling Dwayne Johnson everything he was doing wrong. (I liked the movie anyway - here’s my review.)

click on the picture to read my review.

• Do people who have loved ones with autism like watching movies that have characters with autism? Or they find the characters to be stereotypical and misrepresented?

Smarter people than I have analyzed movies that have characters with autism.

You can read those articles here and here and here.

These three movies for Autism Awareness Month are not documentaries.

We are not watching movies that have characters with autism for exact representations of the real people with autism that we know. That is known as a documentary. A documentary is educational and interesting, but not often the most entertaining of movies. Real life is slow and tedious.

We watch Hollywood movies for

drama or action or romance or comedy.

Hollywood is allowed to be a bit inaccurate in movies that have characters with autism, to increase our entertainment, just as they are in doctor movies and army movies.

The warning is over… On to three movies for Autism Awareness Month!

Joyful Noise (2012 PG-13) comedy, drama, music

This movie starring Queen Latifah, Dolly Parton, Keke Palmer, and Broadway star Jeremy Jordan set in a church choir will keep you smiling and tapping your toes!

Queen Latifah plays the mother of Keke Palmer and Dexter Darden, who has a type of autism spectrum disorder. Jeremy Jordan is Dolly Parton’s grandson, who likes Keke and befriends Dexter. Dexter’s is a minor character, with two particularly important scenes that address the challenges he faces.

Tap to get to video clip.

It’s a beautiful scene. Is it the exact way people with Asperger syndrome act? Maybe, maybe not. But it is respectful and not insulting. Enjoy this movie!

Power Rangers (2017 PG-13) action, adventure, sci-fi

Five high school students get superpowers, learn to use them, and team up to defeat the bad guy (or in this case, bad girl). A grand adventure, with excitement and friendship to enjoy.

To be honest, it wasn’t until researching this article that I remembered that one of the teens who becomes a Power Ranger is on the autism spectrum.

I remember this movie for two reasons:

1. The amazing early chase scene that is all one take - the camera never leaves the action or cuts away, even through a car accident.

2. One of the teens has a Chinese grandmother. I felt they should have honored the Japanese roots of the Power Ranger franchise by making him of Japanese descent.

The Predator (2018 R) action, adventure, sci-fi

Alien hunters come to earth. They kill a lot of people. A rag-tag team of Army misfits fight back (it’s like they’re the A-Team)!

This movie is rated R. The foul language will make your ears burn. The blood and guts are extra bloody and gut-sy. The acting is hit or miss. If you have any military experience, or have any knowledge of science, you will be shouting at the screen.

You should probably skip this one.

But, there are glimmers of brilliance. The army wife is strong in a realistic way. The running joke about what to call these creatures is clever. There are little gags that you feel smart to catch (look for the school billboard).

What about the character with autism? It’s another portrayal of a brilliant child who is wanted by the authorities. It turns out the aliens want him, too, for reasons that will probably leave you shouting at the screen.

Here, young Jacob Tremblay has figured out how to turn on an alien mask and arm piece, just in time for Halloween. He just didn’t know what it would do.

Is it a fair portrayal of someone on the autism spectrum? Perhaps. Is getting revenge on your bullies the dream of many people? Absolutely.

If you watch this movie, and hate it, don’t complain to me! But you may find yourself laughing at the gags and cheering on the heroes, just a bit!

If you are experiencing autism in reality, and not the Hollywood version, there are many resources for guidance and for hope. Here at Joy Lab, we want to help.

Help! I Have No Patience for my ADHD Child!

Having a child with ADHD is challenging. A child with ADHD has…

• trouble controlling their impulses and emotions

• socially inappropriate behavior too often

• an inability to learn from past consequences

There are more symptoms of ADHD. But those three are enough to drive anyone crazy. At least occasionally.

Let’s start with some affirmations.

I have no patience for my ADHD child.

You are not a bad parent.

I can’t handle my ADHD child.

You can. You are strong and capable and smart.

My ADHD child is out of control.

It’s not you. Most children with ADHD have times when they are out of control.

I’m overwhelmed with my ADHD child.

Having a child with ADHD simply is overwhelming at times. It just is. This is normal.

“You are not alone. Millions of parents are going through the same struggles everyday. You may not realize it, you may not see it, because ADHD is referred to as an invisible disability.”

— Dr. Cindi Britton, ADHD Specialist

We have a separate blog posting about what an invisible disability is.

I have no patience for my ADHD child!

Lack of self control, repeated inappropriate actions, and difficulty learning from past mistakes.

Even a saint would lose their patience!

Thanks for your sympathy. But what can I do to improve my patience levels?

1. I can’t handle my child with ADHD and their lack of self control. Make short lists (see video below). Have time that is unstructured. Allow space to feel and space to be wild. Ignore the looks from adults who don’t know you. Talk through the situation ahead of time to pre-run your child’s responses.

2. I’m overwhelmed by my child with ADHD and their inappropriate social actions. Become a broken record (“We do not look through all the drawers in the doctor’s office”). Play-act how your child should behave in different situations. Give sincere compliments for attempts at good behavior. Give space to try out weird sounds or unusual wardrobe choices. Pick your battles.

3. My child with ADHD is out of control and never learns from past mistakes. Be consistent (this works best if all the adults in the home encourage the same rules). Don’t compare one child to another. Try to find ways to say ‘yes’. During pleasant times, point out to your child of how nice it feels to behave well. Tell stories of when your child made good choices (“Remember that time when…”)

Raising a child with ADHD isn’t easy. We care about you, and have several resources to help. You’ve got this!

Why do Kids Act Out?

Let’s be honest. If you are a parent, at some time you have experienced something like this.

You have

• places to go

• things to do

• people to see

The last thing you need is for your child to slow you down. Why do kids act out at the worst possible time?

Where will that paper airplane end up?

Why do kids act out at school?

Do you dread getting emails or phone calls from your child’s teacher?

Teenagers can be really loud when you don’t want them to be.

Why do teenagers act out at the most inconvenient time?

It’s embarrassing when your teen is defiant to you in front of other people.

This must be a perfect family!

“It’s easy to look at other people’s perfect kids, and feel you are a bad parent. Stop. Just stop.”

Child Behavior Problems and Solutions

You already know the answers to these, because no matter how you feel right now, you are a good parent. You want to do what is best for your child.

Why do kids act out? They may be…

• Tired: Create a consistent bedtime routine.

• Hungry: Provide regular healthy snacks and meals.

• Confused: Have reasonable expectations and consistent rules.

• Nervous or afraid: Look at the situation from their point of view. Prepare them before hand for what is coming. Offer encouragement and safe places to go. Never belittle their fears.

• In pain: Are their shoes too tight? Do they get regular dental check ups? Is someone hurting them?

• Feeling unloved or unlovable: A hug a day does wonders. especially for teens. Give sincere compliments. Spend a few minutes with your child without your phone in your hand.

See? You already know what to do.

You already know that it is difficult to be the perfect parent among the stress of daily life.

Child behavior problems can be overwhelming.

teens can be incomprehensible.

Sometimes, we don’t know what to do when our kids act out.

Your child could be experiencing an invisible disability, such as ADHD or Autism.

Get answers you need from a certified autism expert or ADHD specialist.

Or download our FREE chart to get an understanding of some signs of ADHD or autism.

No obligation. No judgement. Just answers from two experts who have been there, too.

You Can Manage Meltdowns

What is a meltdown?

You know it when you see it.

What is the meltdown definition?

Sometimes we feel so emotionally overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings that we can no longer control ourselves.

Teen morning meltdown videos.

Yes, that is really a thing. You can go on YouTube to watch videos of teenagers out of control of their emotions.

• Who makes these videos?

• Why do they post them?

“Shaming someone, whether a parent or child or teen, does not help them. Stop.”

An emotional meltdown hurts and embarrasses.

Meltdown is not the punchline to a joke.

Meltdown is not something you just have to live with.

FREE Chart to Help Manage Meltdowns   No obligation. No judgement. Just guidance from two experts who have been there, too.   First Name * Last Name * Email * Phone I Am A * ParentCaregiverTeacher   My interests include: Ending Meltdowns ADHD Birth Order Fighting Among Siblings Autism IEP/504 Hassle Free Homework   Click Here for FREE Chart   No spam!  Your info will never be shared or sold.

Don’t wait. Click for your free chart now. You’ve got this!

What is an Invisible Disability?

Who is allowed to use handicapped parking?

• Someone in a wheelchair?

• Someone with an eye patch?

• Someone attached to an oxygen tank?

Yes, if their doctor verified their handicap with the DMV.

If you saw someone with an obvious physical handicap, you would have no doubt they should use handicapped parking. We want to give extra space to people who need it!

This is just a stock photo. We have no way of knowing if she has an invisible disability.

The DMV will give handicapped parking placards to people who have other conditions, once their doctor has verified them, including

• Diabetic nerve pain

• Multiple sclerosis

• Heart disease

What does a person with diabetic nerve pain look like?

If you saw someone like this smiling young lady getting out of a handicapped parking space, you would probably think she was cheating. That she was parking in the wrong spot, just to park up close.

Yes, selfish people do parking in handicapped parking sometimes. Don’t. It is against the law.

People who are disabled do not always look disabled!

• Fibromyalgia - widespread pain

• Autism - challenges with social skills

• Rheumatoid arthritis - pain in the joints, often beginning in young women

• ADHD - attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

Looks like a normal family to us. Can you tell if anyone has an invisible disability? Nope.

Just because a person has a disability, doesn’t mean they are disabled. But they do have some area that they struggle with, something that disrupts daily life, and could use extra help.

Is ADHD an invisible disability? Is autism an invisible disability?

Yes. And, yes.

How can you tell who has an invisible disability?

If you are wondering about your child, download our free guide. This will help you know if you should seek a professional diagnosis.

• ADHD and autism are the two most common invisible disabilities in children.

• ADHD and autism are not your fault.

• ADHD and autism often cause misunderstanding among onlookers.

Get parent support now to help on your journey with invisible disabilities.

Turkey or No Turkey? You Decide!

Does your family Thanksgiving dinner look like this? Of course not!

Does your family Thanksgiving dinner look like this? We hope not!

Maybe your family doesn’t even eat turkey. These are other tasty Thanksgiving traditions that we’ve heard of:

• Tamales and beans

• Steak and potatoes

• Chicken and waffles

• All-you-can-eat buffet restaurant

The menu isn’t important. It is the time together with family that matters.

But what if you live far away from your family?

What if you don’t like your family?

What if you are hosting the day, and simply get stuck with all the work and little appreciation?

What if you are worried about your child’s behavior during this chaotic holiday?

don’t worry. this is just a stock photo. he isn’t really hurting his sister.

We all want well-behaved children who don’t embarrass us in front of our family and friends.

We all want to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving, instead of worrying about our children misbehaving.

Use this FREE chart to help! You don’t have to live with meltdowns.

No obligation.

No judgement.

Just guidance from two experts who have been there, too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Last Chance! ADHD Parent Master Course Sale Ends at Midnight!

You can still get ADHD Parent Master Course:  Knowledge is Power at the current sale price of $99 until 11:59pm Pacific Daylight Time tonight.  Then the price jumps back to our regular price of $247.

Don’t wait.  You child is not getting better on their own.

If this course is right for you, you know it. Watch and learn at your own pace.  Look at these three ways Crystal and Cindi will help you!

1. You will save your sanity once you learn exactly how ADHD truly is a brain-based disorder.

2. You will save thousands of dollars on advocate and attorney fees. You will be able to navigate the school system like a pro!

3. You will save hours of your limited time because you will know where you can get the help you need for your child.

Click now to learn more about ADHD Parent Master Course:  Knowledge is Power.

Hurry!  The price goes up at midnight!

"Make Good Choices" - It's Not Just For Children

Your child has ADHD.  Or autism.  The diagnosis isn’t a death sentence, but the circumstances of your family’s daily life can be difficult.

• At family gatherings, you dread Aunt Margaret criticizing your child’s behavior.

• You cringe when school projects are assigned, because your child never finishes school projects without last minute drama.

• You wish the teacher would like your child.

• You know bedtime will be a battle, especially on soccer night.

Do you feel stuck?

Do you avoid certain people because they make you feel like a bad parent?

Do you dread emails from your child’s teacher?

Do you feel you have done all you can, yet school is still awful?

Maybe you can just try harder.

Oh, please. 

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.

STOP.  JUST STOP.

Make a better choice.

We have created our ADHD Parent Master Course:  Knowledge is Power to help you.  To make a difference in your child’s life.  To make a difference in your family.

Simply watch our 11 video lessons along with over 30 brief expert answers to questions parents are often unwilling to ask.

You are busy. Everyone is busy. This video course is like having access to experts whenever you want!

Binge watch the course.  Or listen to it as you would an audiobook.  Or watch a little at a time.  Owning the course gives you unlimited access to Crystal and Cindi on your own schedule.

But the $99 back-to-school sale of our course ends after 11:59pm PDT Monday September 30.  On October 1, the price jumps up 60% to our regular price of $247.

Don’t miss out on this amazing price.  Take this seriously.  This could change your life.

With this course, you will get answers you need.

• What ADHD is,

• How to navigate school for your child with ADHD,

• Where you can get help.

Knowledge is power! 

Instead of dismay over the circumstances of your child’s diagnosis, you are choosing to take action.

Instead of trying the same thing over and over, you will understand your child, and know what to do.

Imagine having these benefits:

• You will save your sanity once you learn exactly how ADHD truly is a brain-based disorder. 

• You will save thousands of dollars on advocate and attorney fees. You will be able to navigate the school system like a pro!

• You will save hours of your limited time because you will know where you can get the help you need for your child.

It’s time to choose to take action.

Join now!

PS if you have questions, see the Frequently Asked Questions section on our product page.

Kids Do the Darndest Things

We like laughing at the crazy things people do. Like jumping out of a tree, expecting leaves to break your fall.

That’s gotta hurt!

That’s why the ABC TV show America’s Funniest Home Videos has lasted since 1989.  30 years.

What were they thinking?

It’s all fine and good to laugh.  America’s Funniest Home Videos doesn’t show videos where someone is seriously hurt or is doing something cruel or illegal.  It’s fun to curl up on the couch together with your family to watch people do dumb things.

On a Sunday evenings at 7pm, not too early and not too late, parents still sit to watch with their little kids and teenagers.  And laugh together at mischievous kids, wedding receptions gone awry, pet mishaps, and yes, people getting hit in the crotch.

But what if it’s your child doing dumb things.  Acting without thinking.

What if it’s a constant battle to get your kid to make good choices?

Not so funny anymore.

Think of your child with ADHD or autism.  How often do they see people laughing at them?  How often do they see frowny faces or frustrated faces?

Our ADHD Parent Master Course:  Knowledge is Power can help.

And it’s on sale a few more days, until the end of September.

You are busy.  Do you really need to add watching an online video course to your to-do list?

• Yes.  Choose to take this seriously.  Our ADHD Parent Master Course: Knowledge is Power is based on decades of experience helping people live in harmony with ADHD, not in conflict with ADHD.

You are busy. 

• Did you know you can listen to the videos while you go about your day?  Think of them as a podcast or audio book.

• And you can start and stop the program at any time, taking it up again when you have time.

If you are facing autism or other disabilities, we have resources for you, also, right here.

ADHD Expert Dr Cindi Britton

Autism Expert Crystal Sanford

If we sat down with you for an hour or two, we could help you understand that ADHD is a brain-based disorder, teach you how to navigate school for your child with ADHD, and guide you to accessible resources to help.

If circumstances allowed, we would sit down with each and every one of you.

If you are in San Diego California, please reach out for an appointment.

But since time and distance keep us from meeting individually with everyone we wish to help, we created this ADHD Master Course:  Knowledge is Power.  We recommend you join.  Your peace of mind is worth the price!

The $99 back-to-sale price of our ADHD Master Course:  Knowledge is Power ends soon, Monday September 30, at 11:59pm Pacific Time. 

Learn more about ADHD Master Course:  Knowledge is Power here.

PS.  Get on the ball. Don’t let this offer roll by. Check out how this course will help you today!

Weird Advice From the Internet

It used to be when you needed some advice, you called mom.

• How do I know when chicken has gone bad?

Or you talked to a friend who had gone through a similar experience.

• What should I wear to the job interview?

Now we simply ask Google.

• (Here’s Google’s answers, in case you are wondering: it looks grey and smells sour; match the company dress code.)

Of course, Google won’t come over and help you pick out an outfit, or let you borrow something to wear like a friend would.  Google may suggest chicken recipes, but doesn’t know how to make Grandma’s secret chicken casserole recipe like your mom does.

Google doesn’t wear pearls, like mom used to.

Some of Google’s advice is just plain bad.

• You should remove moles with dental floss. (Sounds like infection waiting to happen.)

• You can get flat abs in 5 minutes a day with this miracle exercise. (Yeah, right!)

• You can make anti-acne face mask out of kitty litter. (Gross!)

Don’t do these things!

Do you remember when you first brought your baby home?

• Maybe you read baby books.

• Maybe you grew up the oldest in your family and had a lot of experience with little brothers and sisters.

• There still was a learning curve getting used to your baby, and fitting in to your growing family.

Now now, don’t judge!  You remember how it was when your baby didn’t sleep.  A new dad’s got to eat!  He said, “The only way my 3-day-old daughter would fall asleep. After two hours of carrying her around, I got hungry.”

You can find all sorts of child-rearing advice online.

• Some of it is reputable, like Pampers’ YouTube video teaching how to diaper your baby. 

• Some of it is not.

Have you seen the movie Penny Serenade?  This gentle comedy, from 1941, follows the lives of a couple who unexpectedly adopt a baby.  The husband, played by Cary Grant, wasn’t sure he even wanted to be a father, until he saw his wife, played by Irene Dunne, holding a precious baby girl.

Watch as they nervously bathe and diaper their baby the very first time. Good advice comes from an unexpected source. (You can stop once the record starts spinning, at 1:18).

What a cutie!  Do you remember those days?

Aren’t you grateful for disposable diapers?  Or, if you were a cloth diaper family, for waterproof diaper covers?

How precious babies are!  Think of how much you have learned as a parent over the years!  How special our children are, no matter what age.

No matter how much they drive us crazy.

PS.   We have expert guidance for you and your child with ADHD. We want to help!  Our video course is like having access to your own expert any time you want! Please click today.  Our ADHD Master Course:  Knowledge is Power $99 back-to-school sale ends Monday September 30 at 11:59pm Pacific Time.  After that, the price jumps 60% to our regular price of $247.  All the details are here.  If you are experiencing autism, we have help here, too.

Are Fall School Carnivals Worth It, or Just Too Much Work?

It’s officially fall.  Autumn.

• Crisp days and cold nights.

• Colorful leaves and corn mazes.

• Pumpkin patches and apple picking.

Unless you don’t live in leaf-peeper territory.

Not a falling leaf in sight.

Most communities create annual fall-related events, even if they are in an area without typical fall weather.

Maybe your Harvest Carnival is like this.

Maybe you can wear shorts to your Fall Festival.

Or maybe your Fall Carnival takes place in a blizzard!

Brrr!

For some people, their fall to-do list is filled with enjoyable things, like take a bubble bath or drink pumpkin beverages.

Maybe YOU are an organizer of fall community activities.  Or one of the many volunteers and donors who make these events fun for kids.

That’s a lot to do!

Take a deep breath! 

• Question:  Are fall school carnivals worth it, or just too much work?

• Answer:  It depends.  How far in advance do you start working?  How many people are on your committee?  How many people attend the event?  What is the feedback after the event (both from volunteers and attenders)?

Does the carnival takes so much time and effort that people avoid you in the fall? 

Maybe if she doesn’t see me, she won’t ask me to volunteer.

During all this fall fun, filled with apple cider and spiced pumpkin pie, regular life still goes on.

What if it’s your child’s teacher that is avoiding you?

What if your child tends to daydream or disrupt in class?

What if the teacher doesn’t seem to like your child?

Watch this 45 second video to see what our expert says.

Our children need our help.  Even more so if they are affected by ADHD or autism or other disabilities.

We need to help our children work well with their teachers.  Even when we are frustrated.

“Work to make contact, when you see her, have a smile on your face, and ask if she has a minute to talk.”

— Our ADHD Expert Cindi

There is hope for your child with ADHD. Here are some teacher-talking strategies that parents find helpful:

• ADHD can look different for every child, so let the teacher know what she’s most likely to see in your child.  Perhaps your child has a hard time controlling emotions, like anger or anxiety.  Or your child tends to talk out of turn.

• Share school strategies that have worked in the past, and assure the teacher that you expect your child to do what he can to live up to school expectations, with teacher support.

• Keep the list of behaviors short. Three is reasonable and actionable, and keeps you from sounding like a demanding parent. Be your teacher’s cheerleader!  Teachers want the best for all their students.

You are a resourceful parent. What have you found works when talking to your child’s teacher? How will you be your teacher’s cheerleader today?  Let us know so we can share with other parents just like you.

Treat yourself!

PS.  This is just a small example of the benefit we have in ADHD Parent Master Course:  Knowledge is Power.  Learn more here. Join us before our $99 back-to-school sale ends Monday September 30 at 11:59pm Pacific Time. And if you’re experiencing autism, see our other resources here.

Freckles and Choices and School Success

We’ve been sharing (and laughing a bit) about circumstances, and about choices.

• The circumstances of a flu epidemic closing down the schools.

• The choice to secretly get married while in high school.

• The circumstances of busy school days.

• The choice to have 13 children.

The circumstances of our surroundings affect ourselves, our families, and our children.

Circumstances are something we cannot do anything about.

• The gifts and talents we have.

•  The families we are born into.

•  Our neighbors.

Yet our choices can make all the difference.

• Our choices can make our circumstances horrible.

• Our choices can make our circumstances comfortable.

• Our choices can make our circumstances exciting.

Let’s run through an example of what we mean.

Isn’t he adorable?

• His circumstances:  Freckles and curly hair.

• Your circumstance:  Let’s pretend your child has a new best friend who has freckles and curly hair.

• Your choices:  You can comment about his freckles.   You could make up a nickname for him, like Spot.  You could ask how he keeps his curly hair from getting tangled.  You could avoid saying anything about his appearance.

• His circumstance:  His entire life people will feel the need to comment on his freckles and curly hair.  People will even laugh at him.

• His choices:  He can become ashamed of his freckles.  He can be embarrassed about his curly hair.  He can become a bully, making fun of other people before they can make fun of him.  He could smile and change the subject.

We believe his parents have a huge part in how he chooses to handle people’s reaction to his freckles and curly hair. His parents can give him tools, things to say in response to compliments about his freckles, things to say in response to jokes about his freckles. 

His parents can model that eye color and skin type do not matter, but that personal hygiene is important.

Use soap, please.

Some families are dealing with a diagnosis of ADHD or autism.  That may be your particular circumstance.

We want to help make your family’s journey smoother.

You have choices in how you travel life with autism or ADHD.

You can give your child tools to succeed in school.  You can model good behavior when interacting with teachers.

Today we’re excited to announce our ADHD Parent Master Course:  Knowledge is Power!

We created this course because we see so many parents struggling. 

• What’s wrong with my son?  Why can’t he act like other people’s kids?

• How come the teacher is always sending my child to detention? 

• Where can I get answers?  What is the solution to fix my child?

ADHD is real.  ADHD is caused by differences in the brain.  Not by differences in thoughts or dreams.  By biological differences. Differences your child was born with.

Does that sound like your child is condemned to be an outcast?  Someone who only can relate to others by fighting or through video games?  Someone who will never hold down a job?

Will they ever be able to live on their own?

Will anyone love them?

We want the best circumstances for our children.  We want them to learn and to grow into successful, happy adults.  Adults who have their own families and careers.  And who call home occasionally!

We can help you now, when your child is young. Now is the time to take the first step in the right direction.

Get ready to refocus your child’s bright, yet unfocused, mind!

If you are facing autism or another disability, you can simply click here to see our other resources.

Our ADHD Parent Master Course:  Knowledge is Power online video course was created by us.  If you join, by the end of this ADHD Parent Master Course, you will have the three pillars of knowledge.  You will know

1. What ADHD is,

2. How to navigate school for your child with ADHD,

3. Where you can get help.

Knowledge is power! 

Instead of being upset about the circumstances of your child’s diagnosis, you are choosing to take action.

Imagine having these benefits:

1. You will save your sanity once you learn exactly how ADHD truly is a brain-based disorder. 

2. You will save thousands of dollars on advocate and attorney fees.

3. You will be able to navigate the school system like a pro!You will save hours of your limited time because you will know where you can get the help you need for your child.

You have good days.  You have bad days. 

Do your circumstances sometimes feel overwhelming?  Does it sometimes feel that the bad days are beating you down, no matter what choices you make?

Are you doing well with your child at home and at school, just to have a set back? 

• A tantrum at the grocery store?

• A stern email from the teacher?

• Another tardy because your child couldn’t get dressed on time?

• A lecture from your nosey neighbor on how they raised their children right?

What did he do this time?

Are you tired of the endless struggle?

Watching our 11 video lessons and over 30 short expert answer videos will give you the tools you need to guide your child to their best life.

If you are facing autism or another disability, you can simply click here to see our other resources.

Our ADHD Master Course:  Knowledge is Power is on sale this September for $99.  On Tuesday October 1st, the price returns to $247.

Learn more here.

PS.  We want to show you what’s possible for you and your child.  But you DO need to act today.  ADHD Master Course:  Knowledge is Power sale price of $99 ends Monday September 30 at 11:59pm Pacific Daylight Time.  All the details are here.  If you are experiencing autism or another disability, click here to see our other resources.

Does Having 12 Kids Make You a Better Parent?

Lillian and Frank Gilbreth had a new baby every 15 months.  And, yes, she did know how babies were made!

13 in all.  One was stillborn, another died at age 6.  But the rest, all eleven, survived to adulthood.

Not bad for the early years of the 20th century!

We are impressed ALL the children are looking at the camera!

Frank Gilbreth is known as the Father of Movement Engineering. 

What?

He studied motion.  How people did tasks.  His goal was not to make people work faster, but to eliminate unnecessary movements to be more efficient. 

He tried to find the One Best Way to perform tasks. 

If you’ve ever had surgery, or performed surgery, you have Frank to thank.  It was he who determined surgical nurses should be in the operating room to hand scalpels and other tools to the surgeon.  Previously, surgeons searched for and fetched their own instruments while operating.

What do you think that bucket is for?

Lillian Gilbreth may not have gone to school for engineering, but she agreed with her husband.  Her goal was to help mothers eliminate unnecessary movements to be more efficient and decrease fatigue, therefore finding more time for leisure and creativity.  She called those moments “happiness minutes.”

She tried to find the One Best Way to perform tasks.

If you have a trash can with a foot pedal in your kitchen or bath, you have Lillian to thank.

But what about in their home?

Is it possible to eliminate unnecessary movements to be more efficient in a household with 11 children?

Is there One Best Way to raise children?

The Gilbreth home doubled as a real-world laboratory where Frank tested his ideas about efficiency. 

Here are some of the things he tried:

• Bath time was not for just getting clean, but for learning to speak French and German by listening to language records.

• He filmed his children washing dishes, studied their movements, then showed them how to reduce their motions and get the dishes washed more efficiently.

• The children were required to initial process charts showing they had bathed, brushed their teeth, made their beds, and combed their hair.

That doesn’t seem too far out!  We think you have tried some of the very same techniques with your own children:

• Listening to Rosetta Stone foreign language CD’s in the minivan.

• Chore charts on the fridge.

• Showing (over and over) the proper way to load the dishwasher.

Family fun at the shore. Morse code lessons are next!

But there’s more.  Frank also did this:

• Dinner time was not just for eating, but for running through multiplication tables.

• Irregular jobs, such as painting the back porch or removing a stump from the front lawn, were awarded on a low-bid basis. Each child who wanted extra pocket money submitted a sealed bid saying what he would do the job for. The lowest bidder got the contract.

• Vacation on the beach was for learning Morse code.

• When a few of their children needed their tonsils out, Frank had the doctor take ALL the children’s tonsils out.  In their own home. While he filmed the surgeries.  To determine wasted movements, of course.

Ewwww!

Two of the grown up Gilbreth children wrote a book sharing their fond memories of home, called “Cheaper by the Dozen.” 

You can find this book at the library

Does that sound familiar?

The 2003 Steve Martin movie is nothing like the true story; instead it plays on the wacky chaos of a big family.

Funny, but not at all about the gilbreth family

The 1950 movie is just like the book, a gentle comedy of the Gilbreth family led by loving, time-management-testing parents.

Funny, and all about the real gilbreth family

What do you think?

Is there One Best Way to raise children?

We’re certain you have at least one tip that has made life with your children more efficient, with less wasted movement.  Please share with us!

Need help now with your children? We can help! No judgement. No obligation. Just guidance, from experts who have been there, too.

Sometimes, School is a Pain in the Backside

We’re not talking about the old days, when teachers could hit students.

We’re talking about now.

We’re talking about school days that look like this:

• Morning: Your child is late because he could only find one shoe.

• Math:  What homework?  Now there’s extra homework tonight.

• Recess:  Your child’s best friend is mean to her.

• Language Arts:  Too much sitting still for your squirmy kid.

• Lunch:  All the food is yucky.

• Art:  Paint drips on your child’s good shoes.

• After School Program:  Kids sit in front of a video, no homework completed.

• Evening:  Running to ballet, soccer, youth group, scouts, robot club, etc.

• Homework:  Becomes a battle.

• Baths, books, brush teeth, bed.

Isn’t it funny how soon we forget complaining about school being out for the summer!

Some days it seems summer lasts waaaaay too long!

The office supply store Staples even made a clever commercial about this several years ago.  The song is meant for Christmas, but for parents in August, back-to-school may just be “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”

We have mixed emotions about school.  Sending our kids off to school is both a relief and a struggle.

What do we do about it?

If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD or autism, or you are wondering about their hyperactivity or lack of attention, you may feel conflicted with back-to-school.

          Hooray – My child is back in a routine

          Boo – Other kids may not treat my excitable child nicely.

          Hooray – I actually can get something done with the kids gone all day.

          Boo – my child’s teacher may not understand

Take a look at what this 59 second video has to say.

“Teachers have a variety of teaching styles, and it can be hard for some teachers to manage the behavior of children with ADHD.”

— Crystal Sanford, Our Expert

Oooh! Who is he going to hit with that paper airplane?

Children with ADHD are challenging to live with, and challenging to teach.  But ADHD is not our fault.  It is not our child’s fault.

It’s our circumstances.  That’s just how it is.

ADHD does not mean our children cannot succeed in school.  We just have to work with them a little differently.

It’s our choice.  There is much we can do.

There is hope for your child with ADHD. Here are some strategies that parents find helpful:

• When doing homework, a short ‘movement break’ can help a child with ADHD refocus on completing the work.

• A small fidget toy is not a distraction for a child with ADHD.  It helps them relax and be alert.  Try giving your child two quarters to rub together between their fingers.

• Children with ADHD feel it when adults don’t seem to like them.  Love them and be their cheerleader.  Let them know you are on their side.  At the end of the day, did your child receive more corrections, or more compliments?

You are a resourceful parent.  What will you try for a ‘movement break’?  What have you found works for a fidget toy? How will you be your child’s cheerleader today?  Let us know so we can share with other parents just like you.

PS. What is the first thing you treated yourself to when your kids left for their first day back to school?  Or maybe you have a special routine to celebrate back to school with your child?  Please share with us!

At Age 111, You Can STILL Get a High School Diploma!

Sometimes circumstances keep you from doing what you should.

Lela Burden was a 15-year-old school girl in Virginia, when the Spanish Flu struck her town.

Lela’s high school was closed, and students told to stay home.

Not Lela.  She went to work.  Two jobs, in fact.

It was 1918, and money in her pocket felt so good, that when the flu epidemic passed, Lela decided not to go back to high school.

Lela Burden’s graduation day!

In 2014, 96 years after dropping out of school, Lela got her diploma.  She was 111-years-young.

Wow!

• Question: Did she go back to the classroom and take geometry and history?

• Answer: No, it is just an honorary diploma, but it recognizes a life well lived. It shows that circumstances can’t keep a good person down.

Lela is officially the oldest person to be given an honorary high school diploma. 

“I’m not old yet. I’m still a young lady. ”

— 111-year-old Lela Burden of Virginia

We hope we look this good at 111.

Way to go, Lela!

Sometimes, our choices keep us from doing what we should.

In 1942, Dorothy Liggett was just a few weeks from getting her high school diploma in Ohio. 

She forgot her gym clothes, so the teacher told her to go to study hall.

Dorothy wasn’t having that!  She blurted out,

“No.  I’m married.  I’m going home.”

Married?  WHAT??

Yup.  She and John Huston, who was a B24 pilot in the US Army Air Corps, had run off to Kentucky and secretly gotten married.

And married girls were not allowed in high school.

As Dorothy stormed home to her parent’s house, who didn’t know she was married, she thought to herself,

“Oh, my gosh.  I shouldn’t have done this.”

Dorothy was expelled, and denied her high school diploma. And she called this the Stupidest Thing I Ever Did.

• The Stupidest Thing I Ever Did: She didn't mean sneaking off to get married. That turned out pretty good for John and Dorothy Huston, who were married for 66 years before John’s death in 2007.

• The Stupidest Thing I Ever Did was not graduating high school. Her five children heard it all the time, “You kids have to have your education.”

“You kids have to have your education.”

— Dorothy Huston of Ohio

John and Dorothy Huston

Yes, it was Dorothy’s poor timing that kept her from graduating from high school.

But, as a surprise for her 93rd birthday, Dorothy’s five children arranged for her graduation to be recognized.  She graduated officially from high school 75 years late!

Dorothy Huston’s graduation day, 2016

All of us have done something stupid.

Our kids do stupid things, too.  But our children are amazing, also. Perhaps they drive us crazy at times; maybe their choices make life chaotic. But each child is special, and is your gift.

Even on the days you wish there was a return policy on children!

What did you take away from Lela or Dorothy's story? Are you amazed? Surprised?  Do you know any inspiring graduation stories? Write us back and let us know.

PS. What do you want to finish? What do you want to begin?